Solace
by lightningpelt
Summary: What is Valentine's Day like for the DN characters? Includes entries from the POV of L Lawliet, Beyond Birthday, Soichiro, Aizawa, Near, Mello, Sayu, Light/Kira, and even the Shinigami, Rem and Ryuk. What do each of them find solace in? One-shot


**(A/N) A Death Note Valentine's Day fic. All my friends said that nothing like that would ever work. But it did. With the help of my loyal beta-who-is-not-really-a-beta-but-performs-the-duties-of-one, I came up with this idea. I was originally going to include Misa and Matsuda as well, and I feel like a horrible traitor to little Matsu, but I just lacked an idea for them, and the time to think one up. Oh, and I know that it can be either Gelus or** **Jealous, but I read the manga first, so I use Gelus. ****Minor little thing, there. So, here it is! My rather depressing view on Valentine's Day, from the eyes of the Death Note characters! But, hey, if it's DN, it has to be at least a little depressing, right? Enjoy!  
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**I do not own Death Note or any of its characters. **

**L. Lawliet**

I shuffled down the busy road, my bare feet making a soft sound. All around me were signs of the holiday, of life, of love. Here was a woman excepting a bouquet of flowers. Here was a husband and wife with their child between them. Here was an envious looking teen with a bundle of balloons, some roses, and a box of chocolates. Here was man, down on one knee, before a delighted looking girl. A moment later, she cried out something, and they embraced.

It all seemed so surreal. I lived, everyday, in a world of cold. A world of harsh reality. Was this reality, too? Was it possible that this was the same world of murders, of rapes, and of horrible travesties that I experienced every day?

A child laughed. It sounded strangely similar to Near's long-forgotten laugh. Or Mello's laugh, never innocent now, as it had been when he was young. I felt ice sink deep into my core. Or the young. B. Beyond Birthday. I shivered. How could this world take and innocent child and transform him into a killer?

I spotted two teens behind a corner of a building. Their bodies were entwined; they were kissing. I felt a prickle of curiosity. What would that feel like? I knew, with disheartening certainty, that I would never feel it. I would never feel love. The closest I would get was the affection I felt for Light, and that was far from romantic love. A machine couldn't feel love, therefore I couldn't feel love. I felt sad at this, but hardened my heart. I no longer had had a heart. With a heavy sigh, I turned my path the other way, and made my way back toward the Taskforce Headquarters to seek solace in my work, and the solitude of it.

**Beyond Birthday**

I shuffled down the busy road, my bare feet making a soft sound. All around me were signs of the holiday, of life, of love. All around me were people, people who would die today, die tomorrow, die 20, 30, 40 years from now. But everyone around me would die. Everyone around me had a ticking clock inside them. Everyone would die. All lives would come to an end.

I cackled softly, feeling the knife in my pocket. I ran my fingers along it, spilling my own blood. I brought my hand to my mouth, licking the tangy blood from my fingers. Yes, all lives come to an end… I'll see to that.

A young girl was sitting on the lap of her boyfriend. Their eyes and voices were warm; the girl tossed her hair in a carefree motion. I let out a small keen of delight. I could see the grains of sand falling quickly; she had a matter of hours. But… she was…_happy_.

My little joyful sound turned into a growl. What did she have to be happy? She had nothing. Tomorrow, she would be gone! And yet… not gone. _Remembered_. A bitter bile rose in my throat. _Remembered… _that was the key to immortality.

My grip tightened on the handle of my knife. People would remember me. I would _make _them remember. I turned away, my mind set on the solace of the short but euphoric high of the kill.

**Soichiro Yagami**

I massaged my forehead steadily, deep unhappiness worming its way into my heart. I missed my wife. I missed my daughter. I didn't want to be here, today of all days. I glanced up as the door opened.

Ryuzaki stood in the doorway, and I felt a prickle of guilt at my lapse in conviction. I wasn't doing him any good. He looked so exhausted, so very, very, sad.

"Yagami-san." His voice was so tired, with a bitterness I could never fathom.

"Hello, Ryuzaki," I decided to go out on a limb, "Perhaps you should get some sleep." I truly was worried about the young man.

I was mildly surprised when Ryuzaki let out a little huff and tossed his head. "I'll find no solace in sleep." He abruptly changed the subject, "Have you discovered anything new?"

I shook my head sadly. "No, nothing."

"Well, then." Ryuzaki sat beside me, plucking a sugared strawberry from the bowl. "Let's get to work."

Although I went through the motions, my mind wasn't truly on the task. I was thinking of family. Ryuzaki didn't have any. Neither did I. even though I technically did, I was never near them. And that left a hole as big as not having one altogether. Unlike Ryuzaki, though, I could find no solace in the fact that there was no one who cared for me; I knew they were out there, I just couldn't reach them.

**Aizawa **

I held my daughter close, then shifted her to one hip and kissed my wife. I felt my heart soar; this was where I wanted to be, _forever._ I felt pity well in my heart for Ryuzaki, and Soichiro, and Light, still at the Taskforce Headquarters. My daughter let out a little sound of joy, bringing me out of my sullen reflections and back to the present. I smiled widely. They could find their own solace; I wasn't about to let anything get in the way of my enjoyment of my family on this greatest of days.

**Near**

I twirled one strand of my thin white hair, glancing around the empty headquarters. I sighed. Everyone had families. Everyone had sweethearts. _What a foolish holiday,_ I thought, stacking yet another domino on my tower. My mind was wandering; without much to do, I was, more or less, left hanging. I took solace in the tower I was building, making it taller and more intricate as I mulled over the Kira case.

_L…_ I started. _Why had _he _popped into my head?_ A memory, summoned by some strange nostalgia appeared, playing behind my eyes like a movie. Mello and I… L held us on his lap. He handed Mello a box of chocolates, and me a new puzzle set. "Happy Valentine's Day," he had said, and we had seen the smile he tried to hide playing deep in his dark eyes.

A knock at the door startled me. I shook my head, discussed. _What a childish memory!_ Getting up slowly, I walked over and opened the door. There was only the sound of a quickly receding motorcycle. Then I glanced down.

On my doorstep sat a dingle bar of chocolate, with a big red ribbon tied into a bow.

**Mello **

I peeled around the corner, urging my bike beyond its capabilities. I sought peace in the mindless roar of the wind, tearing away all my conscious thoughts in a rush of pounding blood and adrenalin. But I couldn't whisk away the scenes playing in my mind; scenes of my childhood, scenes of Valentine's Days of my youth. It was something so different from this desperately lonely day, I wondered at the fact that it was even the same holiday. I thought of Near; I almost missed the little white-haired boy who used to curl up in my lap, who was now my greatest rival. I could find no solace in the memories, only bitter sadness, so I made every effort to once again loose myself in the wind.

**Sayu**

I lay on my bed, chatting idly with my best friend on the phone. Her boyfriend had asked her to go steady today, on Valentine's Day. I was happy for her, but there was also sadness behind my congratulations. When I hung up the phone, that sadness overtook me. Valentine's Day… what a tragic day. It hadn't been a tragic holiday; once, it had been a wonderful time for my family. Kira had split my family so entirely… I remembered last year, when Dad had come home early and surprised Mom with flowers. We had been so happy…

"Damn Kira!" and then I cried, sobbed, letting out my frustration and sorrow. I found solace in nothing, except perhaps the idea that, one day, Kira would be executed for what he had done to the world… and to my family.

**Rem**

I flew over the city, watching the humans buzzing back and forth. Some carried flowers, some carrying candies and balloons. All had the same thing on their minds, though: love.

"Love." I whispered the word out loud, marveling at it. What a wonderful word. Then I let out a rough laugh. A Shinigami, marveling at love.

Well, why shouldn't I? love was such a great thing, that Gelus gave up his life for it. Perhaps he found some comfort in the fact that he was saving the one he loved. He must have known. It was from this thought that I found solace, a Shinigami, so out of place, enamored with the whole, wondrous idea of love.

**Light Yagami/Kira**

I lay on my bed, lost in thought. Even Ryuzaki had retired by this time; the day was drawing to a close. I rolled onto my back, laughing bitterly. I used to enjoy this holiday. But now, as Kira, I saw that it was a pointless occasion. Now I couldn't even find the joy that it had once held. I had pledged to overcome evil. Ryuzaki had, too, but we went about it in entirely different ways. One killed. One pursued justice. _No!_ I snapped at myself. _I am justice!_ But I allowed myself, just for a moment, to imagine a criminal's wife, home alone on this day, waiting until her husband had served his time, waiting faithfully for him. I shook my head furiously. _The world can't afford to let people like that return to their families!_ But somehow, I was afraid. I was afraid of that widow's pain. I reached over to my nightstand, where a single rose sat. I wasn't sure where it had come from. I examined its petals, its intricate design.

Justice is like this rose, I though. Hopelessly intricate, yet beautiful. As will be the result of the Kira era. But part of me doubted this truth, and I was left without any solace, just as I could offer none to that widow.

**Ryuk **

I crouched on the cross of the local church, overlooking the city. People were happy, laughing, and joyful. In love.

"Hyuk hyuk hyuk." I laughed. What a pointless, human emotion, love! And yet people celebrated it. Couldn't they see what a terrible thing it was? Why did they desire it so? I flapped my wings to avoid losing my balance as I laughed. Humans were so absurd! Why would they want a silly, all consuming, ridiculous thing like love?

And I didn't need any solace at all, for my sardonic mind kept laughing cynically at the thing that people sought all their lives, gave up so much for, and placed above all else.

**(A/N) Wow… those are some skewed points of view… Well, please tell me what you thought! Review! =^^=**


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